just another hippie-dippy

This past week I’ve felt like a crazy lady. My body is going through so many extreme changes (Lyme) and at points I have these intense bursts of energy. It just doesn’t even make any sense. I am loving it because I’ve been so tired and idle for the past 2 years, but, man, I don’t know what to do with myself. Normally I would smoke pot, but aside from my resin experience I haven’t smoked in two weeks- truly a record for me. Obviously I use the energy for school work- but to a degree my brain hasn’t quite caught up with my body. So I’ve been doing a lot of drinking and working out (God I love drinking. God I love working out). You’d think those two wouldn’t go hand in hand but they do for me? I feel like Ram Jam’s “Black Betty” is playing on repeat. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMLnDuzgkjo Clearly I need to chill the fuck out but I haven’t figured out how yet. Anywho, it explains the burst of ridiculous writing that I hope to continue with a little more focus….

So, I found this tidbit of writing in a journal from 10th grade- it still holds truth:

So many times I have sat
And pondered, here, alone in my room.
So many times I have thought
And rethought my life;
What has been,
What could have been,
And what could be.
Searching though my consciousness,
Indulging into my unconscious
And trying to understand
What it’s all about.

I have always been a (very amateur) philosopher. I never studied it, but I tend to view the world in abstractions, in generalizations, in overlapping patterns. This is my biggest downfall, because of course we live in our reality, one in which has little room for such contemplations.

I may lose a lot of you here, but here I go—We all know that life has so many unknowns. No matter how much you think about something, it never means that you are anywhere near truth because everything is so intricate to a degree that, no matter how smart we get as humans, we could never come close to full understanding. Nonetheless, as humans are a curious crew, it is of our interest to explore ideas. Whether these ideas be as simple as wondering why bad things happen to good people, to trying to find your purpose in life, questioning God, the soul, what it means to be self-conscious, or, further, to wonder how everything fits together. Most people have some sort of feeling that everything is united in some way, but what does that even mean?

As a culture we are very good at reading things empirically, and we tend to decode our surroundings in that manner. There are all sorts of ways to view the world, and empiricism (science, a+b=c) is a very valid way of breaking things down. It is important to realize, however, it is not the only way. If you look at these alternative views you will find that, even empirically, they make sense. For example, a friend of mine practices Reiki. Reiki is Japanese style of healing that has been around, well, forever? It is based upon the idea that there is a life force, an energy that we cannot see- what many of us might call God. The healing does not stop at the physical level, but ascends to the emotional and spiritual level. A sick person is said to have low life force energy. A Reiki master is able to tap into this life energy force and direct it towards those in need. At this point you may be thinking I am a crazy hippie, and I understand where you are coming from. But so many people swear by it, I think I have felt it in my own personal experience (not that that means anything whatsoever), and furthermore there are tests that show decreased blood pressure, effects on the nervous system, etc. However these tests are by no means well-developed. Of coarse Reiki is still unproven because there is insufficient evidence, but I think that the fact it has been around for so long and many people swear by it, brings about the possibility that it works. In the same way we instinctively put our hands on our aches (ever put your hand on your stomach with a belly ache, or your hands on your head with headaches, and somehow –to a small degree obviously- it feels better), we are sending energy and- in scientific terms- you are literally directing blood flow through focus and touch to that area thus helping it heal. Just because we cannot explain this “life force energy” does it mean it doesn’t exist? Because maybe, just maybe, when humans evolve a little more or the advances in science will have a better way of measuring it, it could make sense.
Don’t believe me? That’s fine, I hope that you don’t (lest you are gullible) but what about all the evidence that acupuncture works? Acupuncture is certainly in the same category as Reiki (in this philosophical argument in that it is an alternative form of healing that for many years had no credit in the medical world, but also they are very similar in ideology), except that as of late we are learning how scientifically it works. Acupuncture is a originated from China a very long time ago. The treatments goal is to restore the balance of the universal energy Qi (sound familiar?). Illness is thought to be an imbalance of Qi (Qi “chi” is the natural energy forces). But instead of touching, the acupuncturist uses fine needles and places them strategically into specific points on the body, restoring the balance of yin and yang. Now, there is no evidence that the metaphysical concept of Qi, but how could there be? Not with today’s scientific tools. However, there is loads of evidence that acupuncture works more than 90% of the time. There is actual evidence that shows, that whatever your problem may be, there is hard scientific evidence that your problem decreases. People call it magic, but it is not magic at all. We just don’t know how to describe it. My acupuncturist is a MD who used to perform surgeries, etc. Again, my personal experience means nothing, but acupuncture is no longer a joke to the medical world. The correlations are clear.
Something does not work because we figured it out scientifically, it only helps ease our minds with proof. I’m not saying I believe any of this Reiki/Acupuncture energy beliefs. To be truthful- I don’t. I merely think that it is a possibility. My point is not to prove Reiki or Acupuncture at all, but to show the idea of what we don’t know or understand is still real and effecting us. We tend to accept or dismiss things as ultimatums, but if you want truth you must accept the idea of unknowns.

I suppose my first few entries were really just entertainment for whomever reads this, but what I realize is that I don’t need everybody to be interested- just people who have similar interests or just curious. Sometimes you just need to write things down or share with others just to validate it for yourself…. Not that I plan on being philosophical all the time, because drunken stories are fun, and fun is very important!

Hot Dam!

We loaded our tents, backpacks, sleeping bags, whiskey, boats, guns, mess kits and a mess of other gear into the back of the trucks. Passing Monterey where the desert meets the ocean and I can’t help but wonder if Nature is just toying with me, laughing at the conundrum I laid my eyes upon. But California often does that- that is, it blows your mind with its geologic scenery [if you haven’t been to Yosemite I strongly suggest you at least drive through it. Or Tahoe. Or drive down highway one and stop along any number of beautiful beaches. Or a million places Just go to Cali!]. I wondered what lay in store at Los Padres Dam (northeast of Big Sur).

We arrived and parked, stepping out into a dry dusty lot somewhere in the mountains. The hike lagged as we dragged the boat-loads (literally) up and down the hills of the acrid trail. Just when I began to feel impatient climbing the last hill, a large dam appeared before me. Hot Dam! Swimming was in order. I love that feeling- it’s one of my all-time favorites- of jumping into cool water after physical work- it’s so dam satisfying! After chillen for a minute it was time to pack the boats and start rowing. The gear boat broke, along with 2 of the oars so getting across a couple of miles of water was quite an ordeal. Luckily I was on the first shipment and escaped any extra duty. The open water led to a valley-like setting, with rock mountain on both sides up a meandering path of shallow water. I was dropped off inland on a small patch of sand. While waiting for everyone to gather, a group of tattooed Mexican ex-gangsters from Salinas paddled up in kayaks (mind you we are miles in). At first I felt a bit alarmed, especially when one of them whipped out a shot gun (that definitely didn’t feel right). But they ended up being alright- fairly polite, just wanting a place to drink beers and get away from their wives, all happy as a clam. Of coarse Sandra chimes in with some 2PAC “Shit, tired of gettin shot at Tired of gettin chased by the police and arrested Niggaz need a spot where WE can kick it A spot where WE belong, that's just for us” [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kExHaBkEYi8 ]. They loved it. We’re all laughin and smoking pot together by the end.

The journey inward was a combination of passing through flowing streams and hiking along the mountain ridges that seemed to endlessly ascend. Backpacking is really a love-hate relationship at this point, because although the view is breath-taking, it’s literally taking your breath away and you really don’t want to keep moving, tapping into your reserves with every step. Then you reach camp and realize you have conquered the world. We set up camp, sipped on whiskey, snuggled with Whiskey Dog, and passed the fuck out.

Day 2 was the mutha-fuckn shizzznit- hiking around with no packs, just a bathing suit and some water-shoes. It was more like frolicking, really. It was time to whip out the big guns- my bicepts of course. Just kidding, but we did have a few guns and a bow-and-arrow, along with a few other toys. Lucky for me both the rocks and the trees were inviting for amateur climbers, so I had at it (even though normally I barely make it up the stairs hah). We spent a solid hour throwing stones at a rotting log. It was so good. While we swam in the stream the boys caught a crayfish and cooked it. Mr Crawdad’s flavor was like gamey lobster crossed with shrimp. The mini-adventure tasted delicious. At night we huddled around the camp fire and had a feast (in attempt to get rid of as much food as possible so we wouldn’t have to hike it back). Once again I kept myself warm with the Whiskeys- sippin and snugglin, sippin and snugglin, wishin we had more time. I think that night I must have dreamt of that day, a sweet escape from reality.

The next day was all business- pack up and let’s get the fuck outta dodge. The back-track always has a weird feeling, re-crossing a path that was such a mystery the day before, headed back to civilization. It is bitter-sweet, until you finally make it outta there and hit up the first burger or pizza joint you see, then it’s just greasy goodness. It’s funny how that works- getting away is great, but it makes coming home to a comfy bed and computer all the more endearing.


Mood: JJ Grey and Mofro- "Lazy Fo Acre" -but unfortunately i can't find a link for that.
i guess this fits- The Band "Up On Cripple Creek" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EisXJSsULGM

Outside Lands Music Festival '11

60,000 hipsters and hippies gathered in San Francisco for a 3-day music festival at Golden Gate Park. It was unlike my typical picture of a festival- mainly because no one could camp at the park and it was cold (damnit sanfran, you’re always so chilly!). This made for a very different experience- there weren’t even wristbands! None-the-less there were mounds of heads hoping to see an array of kick-ass shows.

Phish was phucking phenomenal. John Fogerty played a CCR setlist, had fun and killed it on stage (how old is that guy? So ancient and still rockin. He killed it when I saw him at Bonnaroo last year, too.). I realized that I liked a lot of Muse songs separately, some were alright, the show was extremely energetic &awesome but as a whole it was so dramatic and somewhat repetitive. Speaking of repetitive- Deadmau5. I was dancing rave status but the sick beats were few, far between, and the same one every time. He builds it up for so long, drops a sick beat for like a minute, then drops it down again into lag. I like the mouse head he wore, and he used a microphone to make his voice female (I don’t know what those machines are called. The show was a little confusing for a 1^st timer). A band called the Infamous String Dusters came outta nowhere and had everyone dancing to some high-energy bluegrass. Who else did I see? Black Keys were sick, MGMT, STS9, and a few other fun shows..but don't listen to my opinion in music, everyone's got their own taste.

  

I feel like I would have a better story for the festy but my personal experience of Outside Lands is dampened by the fact that I felt ill (lymin’) and couldn’t party very much. I was just happy to listen to live music. My friends, however, party like fuckin Rockstars and I still do not know why we didn’t get kicked out of the hotel. We destroyed that place, raging all hours of the night.

Phish "Steam" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHhqyXx5wz0
Creedence Clearwater Revival "Fortunate Son" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec0XKhAHR5I
on a somewhat related/not related note: The Section Quartet covering Muse's Time is Running Out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRUTf-EsaTY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CM8zMjvOp5s&ob=av2n