first days at Stony Brook University

I need to grow up.

I am currently enrolled in the English Master’s Program here at Stony Brook University in Long Island.

Rolling into the parking lot to pick up my new apartment keys, I stopped and asked a student in SeaWolves attire (school mascot) where I could find the main office. She bit her lip and gave me the “I’m sorry” shrug. As it turns out she had no idea what I was saying and did not even speak English. This was my first encounter with the multitude of international students here, and, man, there are a lot. The exposure is especially in-my-face because I live in graduate housing on-campus which largely accommodates internationals and most of the students from around here live off-campus. I headed to my dorm and set up my room, making sure to hang up my American flag. Next move was to grab a cigarette and a glass of vino and head to the courtyard. There was a group of guys celebrating so, naturally, I headed over and asked “Any of you boys got a light?” *smile. Ice-breaking by fire-lighting- it’s been good times ever since.

My first days here were casual and spent having a little fun but once my first paper was due shit got real serious. It was certainly a shock stepping into class for the first time feeling quite dumb amidst so many intellectuals. Living in Santa Cruz for two years certainly did not help my cause, but more than that I had never been in a setting where everyone in the class was so necessarily involved. My Liberal Arts undergrad work consisted of classes with varying ranges of knowledge on the particular subject; I had little experience with such in-depth discussion. The first day of Chaucer we jumped right into reading and speaking Old English and citing old-school literature and a whole lotta other crazy shit and uhhhhhhh *brainfart. Little did I know that the idea of farting would soon be useful, as Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales is a glorified compilation of crude dick and fart jokes (I have never seen the word “cunt” used so many times on one page = awesome. still the word still makes me just a tad uneasy no matter how many times I hear it). Though Chaucer gives me a chuckle, school is no joke and being surrounded by smartie-pantsies gave me second thoughts about my attendence for a moment. Just about everyone I know is constantly working. Realizing how much effort they put into study sorta slapped me in the face because I have always slid through classes without too much sweat. But now is not for play, now is for work.

My responsibilities need to come first, ain’t no one gonna hold my hand no more. Maybe it took too long to recognize I need to grow up or maybe not but either way it is gonna take practice and drive when I love so much to dilly-dally.

mood: chillen, thinkin of big things in a relaxin way with Jack johnson Donovan and G Love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK0LWsEcSjM